More Women Choosing To Quit Careers To Stay Home With Children
Just for the record, Erin Proko does not relish cleaning her bathroom toilet.
She does not eyeball her teenage gardener once her husband is off to work. And she does not leave her child on the side of the road when he won't stop screaming.
Despite the popularity of a new TV show devoted to a group of oversexed, over-stressed stay-at-home moms, Proko, who lives in Coral Springs, feels little kinship with her Hollywood counterparts on Desperate Housewives. Two years ago, she never would have imagined giving up her 60-hour workweek as a jewelry merchandiser for the privilege of wiping up baby drool. But after unexpectedly becoming pregnant, she is among a growing number of educated, once-career-minded women in the United States who have done just that.
Call them the Not-So Desperate Housewives.
"I just couldn't see him being raised by anyone but me," Proko, 28, says of her toddler, Aidan.
According to U.S. Census Bureau figures in a report released this week, about 5.4 million women in America are stay-at-home moms -- that's more than 2 out of every 10 married women with children under 15 -- up from 4.5 million a decade ago. Their growth, an increase of 19 percent since 1994, has far outpaced that of the general married population, which has grown by about 2 percent.
Karlene Kiminyo of Lake Worth isn't surprised by what she sees as the pendulum starting to swing back on stay-at-home moms. She has a master's degree in chemical engineering and left a lucrative career to raise her daughter.
"People will say, `You went to school for how long? And you have how many degrees? And now you're staying home?'" said Kiminyo, 35, as her 2-year-old cooed nearby. "But I don't miss it right now because I'm enjoying this. I don't think we're going all the way back to the 50s, but I think more women are choosing to stay at home."
Some think the trend might reverse itself because of a faltering economy. Census data show that 20 percent of stay-at-home moms come from families in which the husband's annual income is $100,000 or more.
"When his income goes down, she's going to compensate ... and get back into the work force," said Cathleen Zick, an economist and professor at the University of Utah. "And [for single moms] the only way for them to survive is to work outside the home. They are engaged in two full-time jobs."
Despite this, women who come from median-income families are also making the switch. Denise Jones of Cooper City left her job as a legal secretary and now depends on her husband, an auto mechanic instructor at a local technical school, to pay the bills. "People are starting to realize that if I make less than $50,000 and I have two kids, it doesn't pay for me to have them stay in day care. Day care is expensive, and then there are the clothes, the lunches, the gas," she said.
But the decision to stay home is about much more than money.
It can also be a matter of traditional values, which have recently received so much scrutiny during the reelection of President Bush. Many of the women who helped carry him to victory based on "family and faith" issues did so because they apply the same priorities in their everyday life.
"Your children learn your values and your view of the world," said Maria Lima of Pembroke Pines, who became a stay-at-home mom so she could home-school her daughter, then in second grade and now 14. "Even in second grade, you saw children who were disrespectful and defiant. I didn't want my child to be a part of that ... but we could not afford a private [Christian] school."
So who, exactly, are today's modern-day housewives? And how are they different from previous generations?
They are more educated. According to a survey of a national group of stay-at-home moms called Mothers & More, 84 percent of its members have college degrees. Thirty percent have a master's, Ph.D. or other professional degree. Catalyst, a New York-based research organization that focuses on women at work, reports that a third of American women with MBAs are either out of the workforce or working part-time.
Today's housewife is older. More than four in 10 are between the ages of 35 and 44, including Ruth Martucci of Lake Worth, who had her first son at 40 and, now 42, is pregnant a second time. After earning her master's in health care administration and running a private practice, she no longer feels as if she has to prove herself career wise.
"It's a time for me to enjoy and grow as a person," she said.
And, given these factors, it may not be surprising that many of these older, college-graduate moms are taking the professional skills they used in the workplace and applying them in the home.
Hollywood resident Beth Eiglarsh, 36, recently gave notice at her $85,000-a-year job as a publisher's representative so she could stay home with her children. She plans to work from her house, expanding a business she formed that sells handmade, jeweled accessories. She named the collection after her daughter, Julia Taylor.
"The business is the conduit through which I will get to see my children more," said Eiglarsh, who has already hired some stay-at-home mothers to help her fill orders.
Kirsten Kustin, 35, of Fort Lauderdale, has gone from networking with business bigwigs to being president of a Mom's Club in which mothers swap advice and stories to help each other stay sane.
"At first, I didn't know where my place was. I went from running $2 million accounts, and when I barked people jumped, to sitting here with this kid trying to get him to eat peas," she laughed. "We get together and talk. How did you get rid of the bottle? How did you get them potty trained? How do you keep the flames with the husband aglow?"
Like other once-career-minded moms, Kustin plans to go back to work once her children are older.
"We're hybrid moms -- part mom, part business -- and we'll wear whatever hat is appropriate at the time," she said. "I think of it as a short-term thing. I'm not going to be at home forever. And I'll be able to market myself because I still do consulting projects here and there."
There is even a term for this work-home-work phenomenon: sequencing.
Still, some women report employers continue to be reluctant to rehire them, with a resulting drop in pay and benefits. Proko, the Coral Springs mom, remembers one interview in which the employers asked her what she had been doing the last few years.
"When I said, `Raising a child,' they said, `Oh,' and their eyes just glazed over," she recalls.
Local mothers hope that as the stereotype of the stay-at-home mom changes, so will such treatment. But either way, it is a risk they feel they must take.
"It isn't eating bonbons and watching TV," says Boca Raton mom Summer Faerman, 26, who is working on her second child and a master's degree in management. "I tell people [my daughter] is my job, she is my career."
Jamie Malernee can be reached at jmalernee@sun-sentinel.com or 954-356-4849.
Dec 6, 2004
Copyright © 2004, South Florida Sun-Sentinel
She does not eyeball her teenage gardener once her husband is off to work. And she does not leave her child on the side of the road when he won't stop screaming.
Despite the popularity of a new TV show devoted to a group of oversexed, over-stressed stay-at-home moms, Proko, who lives in Coral Springs, feels little kinship with her Hollywood counterparts on Desperate Housewives. Two years ago, she never would have imagined giving up her 60-hour workweek as a jewelry merchandiser for the privilege of wiping up baby drool. But after unexpectedly becoming pregnant, she is among a growing number of educated, once-career-minded women in the United States who have done just that.
Call them the Not-So Desperate Housewives.
"I just couldn't see him being raised by anyone but me," Proko, 28, says of her toddler, Aidan.
According to U.S. Census Bureau figures in a report released this week, about 5.4 million women in America are stay-at-home moms -- that's more than 2 out of every 10 married women with children under 15 -- up from 4.5 million a decade ago. Their growth, an increase of 19 percent since 1994, has far outpaced that of the general married population, which has grown by about 2 percent.
Karlene Kiminyo of Lake Worth isn't surprised by what she sees as the pendulum starting to swing back on stay-at-home moms. She has a master's degree in chemical engineering and left a lucrative career to raise her daughter.
"People will say, `You went to school for how long? And you have how many degrees? And now you're staying home?'" said Kiminyo, 35, as her 2-year-old cooed nearby. "But I don't miss it right now because I'm enjoying this. I don't think we're going all the way back to the 50s, but I think more women are choosing to stay at home."
Some think the trend might reverse itself because of a faltering economy. Census data show that 20 percent of stay-at-home moms come from families in which the husband's annual income is $100,000 or more.
"When his income goes down, she's going to compensate ... and get back into the work force," said Cathleen Zick, an economist and professor at the University of Utah. "And [for single moms] the only way for them to survive is to work outside the home. They are engaged in two full-time jobs."
Despite this, women who come from median-income families are also making the switch. Denise Jones of Cooper City left her job as a legal secretary and now depends on her husband, an auto mechanic instructor at a local technical school, to pay the bills. "People are starting to realize that if I make less than $50,000 and I have two kids, it doesn't pay for me to have them stay in day care. Day care is expensive, and then there are the clothes, the lunches, the gas," she said.
But the decision to stay home is about much more than money.
It can also be a matter of traditional values, which have recently received so much scrutiny during the reelection of President Bush. Many of the women who helped carry him to victory based on "family and faith" issues did so because they apply the same priorities in their everyday life.
"Your children learn your values and your view of the world," said Maria Lima of Pembroke Pines, who became a stay-at-home mom so she could home-school her daughter, then in second grade and now 14. "Even in second grade, you saw children who were disrespectful and defiant. I didn't want my child to be a part of that ... but we could not afford a private [Christian] school."
So who, exactly, are today's modern-day housewives? And how are they different from previous generations?
They are more educated. According to a survey of a national group of stay-at-home moms called Mothers & More, 84 percent of its members have college degrees. Thirty percent have a master's, Ph.D. or other professional degree. Catalyst, a New York-based research organization that focuses on women at work, reports that a third of American women with MBAs are either out of the workforce or working part-time.
Today's housewife is older. More than four in 10 are between the ages of 35 and 44, including Ruth Martucci of Lake Worth, who had her first son at 40 and, now 42, is pregnant a second time. After earning her master's in health care administration and running a private practice, she no longer feels as if she has to prove herself career wise.
"It's a time for me to enjoy and grow as a person," she said.
And, given these factors, it may not be surprising that many of these older, college-graduate moms are taking the professional skills they used in the workplace and applying them in the home.
Hollywood resident Beth Eiglarsh, 36, recently gave notice at her $85,000-a-year job as a publisher's representative so she could stay home with her children. She plans to work from her house, expanding a business she formed that sells handmade, jeweled accessories. She named the collection after her daughter, Julia Taylor.
"The business is the conduit through which I will get to see my children more," said Eiglarsh, who has already hired some stay-at-home mothers to help her fill orders.
Kirsten Kustin, 35, of Fort Lauderdale, has gone from networking with business bigwigs to being president of a Mom's Club in which mothers swap advice and stories to help each other stay sane.
"At first, I didn't know where my place was. I went from running $2 million accounts, and when I barked people jumped, to sitting here with this kid trying to get him to eat peas," she laughed. "We get together and talk. How did you get rid of the bottle? How did you get them potty trained? How do you keep the flames with the husband aglow?"
Like other once-career-minded moms, Kustin plans to go back to work once her children are older.
"We're hybrid moms -- part mom, part business -- and we'll wear whatever hat is appropriate at the time," she said. "I think of it as a short-term thing. I'm not going to be at home forever. And I'll be able to market myself because I still do consulting projects here and there."
There is even a term for this work-home-work phenomenon: sequencing.
Still, some women report employers continue to be reluctant to rehire them, with a resulting drop in pay and benefits. Proko, the Coral Springs mom, remembers one interview in which the employers asked her what she had been doing the last few years.
"When I said, `Raising a child,' they said, `Oh,' and their eyes just glazed over," she recalls.
Local mothers hope that as the stereotype of the stay-at-home mom changes, so will such treatment. But either way, it is a risk they feel they must take.
"It isn't eating bonbons and watching TV," says Boca Raton mom Summer Faerman, 26, who is working on her second child and a master's degree in management. "I tell people [my daughter] is my job, she is my career."
Jamie Malernee can be reached at jmalernee@sun-sentinel.com or 954-356-4849.
Dec 6, 2004
Copyright © 2004, South Florida Sun-Sentinel